Dead or Alive


“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Howard Thurman

I that is true, then I have been at least half dead now for quite awhile.

My focus has been on switching over a lot of my folks business affairs. It involves making a lot of phone calls and filling out a bunch of forms. That would be one of my least favorite things to do, but it has to be done. I take a certain fulfillment in doing it for them, and wouldn’t have it any other way, but it doesn’t exactly breathe life into my soul.

Home improvement is another great responsibility that falls in the lap of every homeowner. Currently, I have a huge hole in the living room ceiling to repair, and massive ceiling to re-paint, all due to a water problem, now remedied. I like this stuff best when it is all done. Some people would find personal fulfillment in this type of work. To me, it is just something else that has to be done.

Saturday, a guy turned in front of me, just a few blocks from home causing a car accident that resulted in considerable damage to my car. Now I have that to sort out. I am glad he admitted blame and that everyone was so thoughtful toward us, and most of all, I am thankful no one was hurt. But is it another thing to mess with when I am already on edge.

I take care of the business for my brother, my parents, our two home businesses, and ourselves. So, I make a lot of business calls. Of late, my cell phone has been dropping calls right and left, and the quality of the calls that get through is bad. In talking with my (expletive deletive) carrier, it seems they are unable to remedy the problem or give a reasonable credit. The representative simply could not guarantee that I can make “indoor calls.”

The options here in Poduntville are very limited. When I called to get the issue fixed a couple of days ago, the call dropped eight times. So, I have all of these business matters to do without reliable phone service. Yesterday, I drove ten minutes away to sit in a Wal-Mart parking lot to report my car accident and try to get the phone fixed.

After talking to the cell company, my eyes were glowing red, and I was ready to kill somebody. Well, I guess that is feeling alive, but it is not what I had in mind.

Some things do make me feel alive.

I was watching a band at an outdoor celebration last Saturday. Their abandonment in their performance made me smile, touched my soul. I felt alive. When I write, I feel alive. Lately, I have been working on a novel, and have about three different books in the pipeline, but because of the above things on the front burner, I don’t get to these things very often.

I know it is better to move from problem to solution, and I am. I know it is usually a bad thing to languish in a victim mentality. So, I try not to. I know some people may have this all figured out for me, and stand at the ready to offer some glib thing I ought or should do. But we really shouldn’t let people “should” on us.

What is my point? There are some things we need to do. We may not like them, but they need to be done. Then, there are somethings that re-invigorate us. We need to find those things and prioritize them. To totally focus on one would be irresponsible, and to totally focus on the other would be mundane.

Anyway, I got to do one thing that was fulfilling, honestly sharing my thoughts and feelings with you. That always helps me, and I hope it does you as well.


Photo credit: Danielle Lupkin. Creative Commons.

About Glenn

Glenn Hager is a blogger, former newspaper columnist, and author of two books, An Irreligious Faith and Free Range Faith.
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