Sixty-Two

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I recently celebrated my sixty-second birthday. Those words, sixty-second, seem incredibly foreign to me. I feel like I ought to be in my mid forties or even younger.

Part of me doesn’t mind being sixty-two at all. Part of me can’t believe that I am sixty-two. I don’t know what happened. How did the years slip by so quickly?

Part of me wishes I had done a better job loving my family. Part of me has made peace with those regrets long ago.

Part of me feels that I never achieved my potential, or even came close. I wonder why I have always had a longing to achieve something that has been so illusive. But I have mostly let the go of the past. I am still trying to achieve that potential, but it looks quite a bit different.

In some ways, I am crankier. At least I speak my mind far more candidly. I seem old, even to myself, when I complain about the digitalization of society, customer service, popular music, and know-it-all kids (in their 20’s and 30’s.)

In other ways I have mellowed out and figure my job is to just to love people as they are and to respect their own journey.

In some ways I feel wiser like I know something. That seems reasonable at this age.

In other ways, I am just as lost as ever, struggling at times to get a handle on my attitude and emotions.

In some ways my world is bigger because I am more open minded about a lot of things than I used to be and I try to grow it even larger through intentional learning.

In other ways my world is smaller and I am happy to keep it that way with just a few family and friends in the circle.

Sometimes, I think about things that people my age think about, like retirement, money, health issues, estate planning, taxes, and death. But I don’t like listening to other people my age drone on about these things

 I feel as alive as ever, if not more so, and very ready for an adventure.

But most of all, I think it best to limit the reflections and aspirations, and just be fully alive and engaged in this very moment.

About Glenn

Glenn Hager is the author of An Irreligious Faith and Free Range Faith. He encourages independent minded people of faith through his writing, speaking, consulting, and one-on-one relationships.

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