I’m there right now.
My dad’s death was a big part of the things that got my attention. It was a reminder of my responsibilities to care for my mother, disabled brother, and Patty’s brother, also disabled. It was also a reminder of my mortality and the legacy I will be leaving behind.
Here’s the other thing, I’m old. No, I don’t normally feel old. But things like aches and pains and finding out just yesterday that I am beginning to get cataracts remind me that the symptoms of being alive for well over six decades are creeping up on me.
There’s one more factor that makes me feel like I am at a juncture, it’s Christmastime. If I ever get a quiet moment, I tend to get reflective at Christmas.
Since Dad’s death, two months ago, I have focused on getting stuff done. Mounds of paperwork and filing have been completed to bring things as up to date as possible. Errands and appointments that I could not focus on during his illness are also done, for now. The house and even the basement have been cleaned out. We have been good to Goodwill. Christmas decorating; done. Christmas shopping; nearly completed. Now what?
My “Now what?” takes me back to something I love: writing. And I’ve got lots in mind for my obsession, which I have missed so much.
Junctures are good. It’s good to back away from things for awhile and to return with a fresh perspective.
So, don’t hate the junctures. I know they can be brought on by things we would prefer to avoid. But if they lead us to a time of reflection and into a fresh perspective, then we benefit.